WHY ARE WE AFRAID TO LOVE?

Observing the world today, I wonder why it’s so difficult still for love to permeate the boardroom?  “Can Love and Business combine easily? Why is FEAR so often the underlying energy of profit and the accumulation of wealth in traditional male dominated environments?” I ask myself.

I have been warned off promoting the subject of ‘love as an energy force at work’ yet I know in my heart and mind combined, that the energy of pure loving intentions, as the inner game of life, is the only thing that will transform both business and life success together.  I have been told to be rational, not emotional, leave the tears and emotions outside the boardroom door.  Why can I not influence with real world emotions that matter?  I believe, men and women alike need to value the essence of love, loving energy and loving actions where they have a soul connection as a source of power rather than fear when engaging with another human being. Whether in the boardroom or the bedroom, you are a human being in action. Your choice; love or fear? Your emotions come with you to work.  Of course, YOU may not believe loving intentions and positive emotions matter at work or that it is always within your choices. Many don’t believe and continue to live in fear although not admitting it that way.  Now the influence of women rising and at the top of the workplace, technology and digital fluidity and flexibility, disruption, innovation and entrepreneurial mindsets breaking the rules, life has changed for ever. Love is here to stay and face fear front on!

“How can you be a human being and exist without loving feelings?” I pondered as I struggled to understand my own female emotions as I grew up through decades of change… and my anguish in tears would be choked back, so as not to be viewed as weak or a victim, on any issue or emotionally vulnerable scenario I was taking risks in…. especially those close-up moments where I was wadding into the unknown of relationships personal to me.
I have had times of great challenge and cried buckets and needed to do so. I learned the release of emotional responses when love with another person changes. I intend not to be the victim, nor (within my power) do anything to make another person a victim or a vampire. Whether in personal, familial or business relationships, it is possible to navigate the waters and sail through stormy seas to a clear horizon. Emotions revealed though enhancing one’s life can be fabulous and – when negative – can be debilitating and sorrowful. We still must take the risk if no resolution is found together. SoulMateLove is about being alive to the unknown as well as enjoying the fruits of love. Finding peace within ourselves is the goal so that we can endure, create, relate, and thrive against any odds.  It is a personal inner destination and I believe will attract like-minded people to you. Not people who are the same, but who are like-minded, open, values based, mindful and conscious to love.

FGabm group beachHonesty with your own feelings can be a tough call but I assure you it’s essential for true growth and happiness. Men and women of all types, shapes, characteristics and values can share their version of love in the workplace and co-create new rules that underpin a collaborative harmony and vibrant creativity to produce better results.  Why not?  When we allow ourselves to love freely, genuinely, without fear, we won’t just be dreaming big ideas, we can make them happen often without the material world controlling us. Many of the greatest success stories today are from those connected to their love emotions and their ability to risk fear to grow strong in loving intentions. Of the two major emotions LOVE and FEAR, I suggest LOVE – within us and with others – is the only course of intention and action.  I choose LOVE.

#soulmatelove #genderdynamics #magicalconversations

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Creating Magical Conversations

Power Struggle Between a Man and a Woman
Power Struggle Between a Man and a Woman

As time moves on in 2017, it becomes apparent that we’re still stuck in terms of men and women getting their act together at the top of the corporate world, the political world and many parts of our social and domestic world. There are good stories of collaboration and men and women co-creating amazing ventures together, of communities recognizing the value of women in the workplace and as leaders, yet these stories are shrouded by nasty stories of male rhetoric and vicious “put-downs” of women, and cries from women about bad behavior of men, especially prominent political figures. It’s time to stop this cycle of negativity, this struggle for power, life is a game not a battle field. It’s time to live life not kill ourselves with hate and fear.  It’s time both men and women recognized their ripples of magic before we all get sucked into  mayhem.

Let’s take business.  I hear so many stories still about how we should have more women at IMG_2253the top of business yet we don’t have the increase in numbers that is possible given the pool of educated talent available. We need to change the ‘track record’ of the criteria for women in the boardroom; and stop women still arguing the toss about whether if they had been in charge, the economic crisis would have not happened. I would like to focus on what we can do together to evolve a new ‘magical conversations’ between all parties in many diverse situations especially where we get stuck. We do this so that we can build a healthy, loving, energized and engaged thriving work and life culture, rather than keep on going over the past.

Our world is changing fast and today is no longer like yesterday so I believe it’s time to change the rules.  It is the “how’ that is our challenge!

This is the time to look outside the past restrictions which have stopped progress. Magical Conversations are not soft and fluffy. They are based on all parties being valued, all parties having an equal right to contribute and all parties understanding the ‘rules’. Ah ha you say – there are rules!  Yes simple and all-embracing. The rules are simple – no judgments, no anger, no restrictive behaviors, no outrageous or harmful img-20160731-wa0010behaviors allowed.  All must be heard, not all views are right, and not all views are wrong, but all views are considered on the table and no conclusions or decisions are made without consensus and at the very least a degree of observation, patience, perseverance and imagination.  So can you feel the magic? The magic is in the mix of contributors, the selection of topics, plus the agreed positive willingness, energy and commitment to mutually respectful outcomes.

Are people ready to shift their perspectives and be truly inclusive? Many factors come to bear but let me first focus on the gender divide and make it more dynamic and positively productive. Then magic may occur faster!

16939506_10154447883563099_4414038946700759001_nFor over 30 years I have addressed many lively groups; business men and women, many solo entrepreneurs, many corporate players, many owners of small successful businesses, and my theme is always generally about “Life, Love and Legacy” and my passion that we live a fulfilled life whether male or female, at home or at work.   My vision for my audiences to ‘take responsibility and ownership for your lives”. I am often asked by women how they can bring love and energy into their business existence and I suggest it is the only way to have a healthy existence. We need to attract wise men to live and work with us as business professionals, and also as mothers, sisters, friends, aunties, daughters and colleagues, as customers and suppliers, as multi-faceted, emotional, caring, intelligent, highly talented, visionary collaborators for today’s future.  Some men may never have been approached with this in business terms.  It’s down to us to stand by our true nature.

I believe if we all can take a wise stance, and for women to draw on our ancient wisdom, our natural strengths and attributes as females, be it of many different types and styles, generations and cultures across the world. Women can then embrace men and persuade, inform, influence and emerge new ways to work together.

cropped-img_02481.jpgMy wise advice to female audiences is consistent; let’s play our best card, draw the female baton and hand it on to other women around the world; use our whole brain, left and right, while recognizing the limitations, rules and regulations that have been placed on us can be changed.  Let yourself own the special place we’re now at and work together to give reasoned viewpoints as to why and how we change these rules.

Women have fantastic opportunities now to get involved in business, in politics, in social change and in determining our children’s future. Yes, it may be a long road of change, but it’s happening as we sleep, eat and go out to work day by day. More and more men and women want a more purposeful world, a world where work and life find a more compatible coalition. And magical conversations are occurring everywhere.img-20160324-wa0016

My questions to women (and those wise men who recognise our value) to ensure we come to together to progress our future in a sustainable and co-creative manner;

What part did women play in the design of our current world? What can women be responsible for in our conversations with women and with men?

What did each of us learn from our lives to date that give us skills that can play into business and enterprise and social change designed often by a male world and in many arenas of business for many hundreds of years?

How can we discuss, debate and declare our authentic advantage as women without threatening, fighting with or demoralising men?

And why will men listen and hear us in a way that extends an open hand of collaboration?

I am uplifted to meet more and more wise men and women, of all generations who think, feel and act in a space of conscious awareness of others and the community around them. I am being asked every week to bring these Magical Conversations into a wider arena and that I pledge to do through my programs, mentoring advice and facilitator development. I intend to set the ripple circling outwards and see how far the magic can reach.

A tale of two cities… one male, one female

In the search for a new understanding and a different conversation between men and women, let’s take a oblique perspective and a story of many new possibilities using the unlikely metaphor of bears (men) and birds (women) to tackle a challenged business world and an economic mess.  Maybe there are two different cultures merging, two natures, one vision? Maybe this story is not so unlikely? 

Once upon a time . . . DSCF0441 the business City had been built over many decades on the “square mile” principle; every inch measurable and maximized for the owners, each square inch sold and resold, marked up, traded down; every skyscraper fields a magnificent view yet many streets were cold from the deep shadows the towers made. The inner streets were paved with gold and had a labyrinth of tunnel journeys and caves connected by long corridors, lift shafts and stairs and out of this a very hard-nosed culture had grown.  This City,  was inhabited by the Bears.

There was another City – known more as a Community – hidden away over those past decades.  This was designed to be a community culture, with open landscape, cozy rooms, and play stations for the younger members to learn and flourish, nesting nooks for conversations, space for innovation and creativity coffee breaks; here there were support systems that shared resources and reduced waste. This inner city was a mesh of inter-connected live wires and tree top nests. womenThis inner community was inhabited by the Birds.

The Bears and the Birds were well known to each other as they had shared the earth together for millenniums, breathing the same air, drinking the same water, eating up the same resources; however they needed different things, they had different biological needs, and even though they often held similar aspirations and dreams for their future, their perspectives on how that came to be where subtly different.

Their challenge was to understand each other as the two cities grew side by side, and business and life began to interweave. Over the last decades where viral changes, technology and flexible ways of working and living had become blended in style, some top level Bears observed their world was changing and surrounding market and social boundaries collapsing, evolving, and revolving in ever decreasing circles. Many natural and economic disasters challenged the very foundations of the world that both Bears and Birds loved. They now faced a world-in-crisis and obstacles that threatened to undermine life as previously known.

The Bears continued to prowl their City. Some were gruff, grizzly and dangerous; some were strong and proud of their mighty presence; others were young cub Bears who were learning from their elders; some were afraid of their own shadows and yet many acted like teddy Bears, warm and cuddly, keen to protect and nurture their young.

The Birds were very different to the Bears; many variable types with plumes of many colored feathers, bodies of different sizes and wing spans spread to glide and soar; big and small, wild and tame; some flew in formation, others lived as family units, others fought their own battles, while many twittered happily over the garden wall. They all sang beautiful and creative songs. However once they were attacked, damaged or caught on the ground or attacked by Bears, the Birds were terrified. Losing a limb, a wing, or a feather made them victims.

Some Birds learned to adapt to business and became even “terrifying” to the Bears; they swooped and soared; they preyed on the most vulnerable; the cub Bear often headed for the caves when he saw a vicious Bird coming.  However many Birds sang from their hearts and were full of the sweet evening song of common sense, the sound of their voices infiltrated the airwaves of business and life as they traveled to and from work and home (as home was very precious to them) and they grew in numbers as the scent of financial independence made them flutter and flourish.

Increasingly the Birds started invading the Bear’s City (where the Bears had regularly inhabited for their daily work) seeking bigger worms and prospects for their life’s survival. They realized there were rich pickings for them too.  However it was tough going for the Birds to begin with as the Bears were big and strong. They had built their City to be the powerhouse that generated wealth and provided resources for their own caves. Their traditions were well embedded in their mindset.  They like to come home to their home nesting Birds. They didn’t always approve of working Birds. They made it a perilous journey for many working Birds, who tried to perch on the higher levels of the skyscrapers, looking for safe habitats and life-saving perches.

17msf03oyscsspngMany Bears didn’t want the Birds to get into their work spaces and high-rise hard -earned stakes; however the Birds were determined that they were there to stay, and grew in numbers every year. The more conscious wise Birds and Bears knew that, for the survival of their species, the only way forward would be together.   The Bears could not understand why Birds talked in circles, chattered with others and used seemingly random tangents to think through problems. Bears thought and acted in boxes, directed in straight lines and expected solutions to every question. The Birds longed to bring their circular birdsong to be truly valued and honored by the Bears, as an intrinsic and valuable part of a fulfilled and successful work-life balance. After all, they valued the Bears for their strength, tenacity, logical thinking and especially  their ability to be the major provider to the family. The Birds loved the adoration that the Bears give them at home and in many communities where they nurtured their families of young Bears and Birds.

GENDER DYNAMICS Bears and BirdsNow once many Birds have discovered The City that the Bears have created, they wanted a bigger piece of the worm pie. They knew they could add new value – natural skills, more emotional intelligence, good relationship management and different consumer knowledge to that which the Bears had. They knew they could deliver much of what the Bears offered yet with a nurturing inclusive spirit that would sustain results in a better long term way; combining a healthier lifestyle alongside the tradition fiscal success. Yet given all that the Birds brought to the Bear’s City, the gateways to the high skyscrapers often proved difficult and had closed combination locks that barred the doorways to the boardroom.

Can the Bears and the Birds a new song today?

Now times are have changed. The internet highway, global trade, business from your home, education for all and entrepreneurship have all blossomed and the Birds are flourishing too and sing their beautiful songs and lyrics even more than ever.   Their activities, especially the younger Y and X Gen, and now Millenium Bears and Birds are creating new cultures and different perspectives that are meaningful and inclusive.

Of course some wise Bears and Birds are now getting together and writing tunes of collaboration with cords of perfection to sooth a noisy chaotic world. We need more to do so and share magical conversations. These species from all generations want to bring a new harmonic to the service repertoire of business but still some older more traditional Bears don’t understand these songs.  When they try to sing along, their deep voices threaten the very nature of the Bird song. The Bears often get stuck with their macho ‘pow-wow’ power groups and warrior sports games.

The Bears and the Birds seem at odds with each other yet there is also an intimate attraction between them; Bears and Birds love each other, and have done since the beginning of time.  When the attraction flourishes, they form families to parent new generations of Birds and Bears. Indeed, they naturally complement each other.

Can the Bears really let the Birds into The City in ways that truly integrate the needs of both? Can the Birds persuade the Bears to get together and co-create a new domain that integrates business and life, economic revival and social cohesion?

Is it “business, boom or bust”? Will bear-growl or bird-song win? Only time would tell. The end of the story is still being written …

The book “Who’s In Charge?” is due to be launched by the end of this year by authors Dr Pauline Crawford & Dr Jim Omps. It’s a story that unfolds as 3 Bears and 3 Birds come together on a mission to save the world. In this stor1-156 (2)y, YOU will find YOU and can discover who you are and how your relationship to others is key to value creation for all.

Magical conversations emerge when you use this blueprint… and the possibility of collaborative success paves the way to a better future.