A tale of two cities… one male, one female

In the search for a new understanding and a different conversation between men and women, let’s take a oblique perspective and a story of many new possibilities using the unlikely metaphor of bears (men) and birds (women) to tackle a challenged business world and an economic mess.  Maybe there are two different cultures merging, two natures, one vision? Maybe this story is not so unlikely? 

Once upon a time . . . DSCF0441 the business City had been built over many decades on the “square mile” principle; every inch measurable and maximized for the owners, each square inch sold and resold, marked up, traded down; every skyscraper fields a magnificent view yet many streets were cold from the deep shadows the towers made. The inner streets were paved with gold and had a labyrinth of tunnel journeys and caves connected by long corridors, lift shafts and stairs and out of this a very hard-nosed culture had grown.  This City,  was inhabited by the Bears.

There was another City – known more as a Community – hidden away over those past decades.  This was designed to be a community culture, with open landscape, cozy rooms, and play stations for the younger members to learn and flourish, nesting nooks for conversations, space for innovation and creativity coffee breaks; here there were support systems that shared resources and reduced waste. This inner city was a mesh of inter-connected live wires and tree top nests. womenThis inner community was inhabited by the Birds.

The Bears and the Birds were well known to each other as they had shared the earth together for millenniums, breathing the same air, drinking the same water, eating up the same resources; however they needed different things, they had different biological needs, and even though they often held similar aspirations and dreams for their future, their perspectives on how that came to be where subtly different.

Their challenge was to understand each other as the two cities grew side by side, and business and life began to interweave. Over the last decades where viral changes, technology and flexible ways of working and living had become blended in style, some top level Bears observed their world was changing and surrounding market and social boundaries collapsing, evolving, and revolving in ever decreasing circles. Many natural and economic disasters challenged the very foundations of the world that both Bears and Birds loved. They now faced a world-in-crisis and obstacles that threatened to undermine life as previously known.

The Bears continued to prowl their City. Some were gruff, grizzly and dangerous; some were strong and proud of their mighty presence; others were young cub Bears who were learning from their elders; some were afraid of their own shadows and yet many acted like teddy Bears, warm and cuddly, keen to protect and nurture their young.

The Birds were very different to the Bears; many variable types with plumes of many colored feathers, bodies of different sizes and wing spans spread to glide and soar; big and small, wild and tame; some flew in formation, others lived as family units, others fought their own battles, while many twittered happily over the garden wall. They all sang beautiful and creative songs. However once they were attacked, damaged or caught on the ground or attacked by Bears, the Birds were terrified. Losing a limb, a wing, or a feather made them victims.

Some Birds learned to adapt to business and became even “terrifying” to the Bears; they swooped and soared; they preyed on the most vulnerable; the cub Bear often headed for the caves when he saw a vicious Bird coming.  However many Birds sang from their hearts and were full of the sweet evening song of common sense, the sound of their voices infiltrated the airwaves of business and life as they traveled to and from work and home (as home was very precious to them) and they grew in numbers as the scent of financial independence made them flutter and flourish.

Increasingly the Birds started invading the Bear’s City (where the Bears had regularly inhabited for their daily work) seeking bigger worms and prospects for their life’s survival. They realized there were rich pickings for them too.  However it was tough going for the Birds to begin with as the Bears were big and strong. They had built their City to be the powerhouse that generated wealth and provided resources for their own caves. Their traditions were well embedded in their mindset.  They like to come home to their home nesting Birds. They didn’t always approve of working Birds. They made it a perilous journey for many working Birds, who tried to perch on the higher levels of the skyscrapers, looking for safe habitats and life-saving perches.

17msf03oyscsspngMany Bears didn’t want the Birds to get into their work spaces and high-rise hard -earned stakes; however the Birds were determined that they were there to stay, and grew in numbers every year. The more conscious wise Birds and Bears knew that, for the survival of their species, the only way forward would be together.   The Bears could not understand why Birds talked in circles, chattered with others and used seemingly random tangents to think through problems. Bears thought and acted in boxes, directed in straight lines and expected solutions to every question. The Birds longed to bring their circular birdsong to be truly valued and honored by the Bears, as an intrinsic and valuable part of a fulfilled and successful work-life balance. After all, they valued the Bears for their strength, tenacity, logical thinking and especially  their ability to be the major provider to the family. The Birds loved the adoration that the Bears give them at home and in many communities where they nurtured their families of young Bears and Birds.

GENDER DYNAMICS Bears and BirdsNow once many Birds have discovered The City that the Bears have created, they wanted a bigger piece of the worm pie. They knew they could add new value – natural skills, more emotional intelligence, good relationship management and different consumer knowledge to that which the Bears had. They knew they could deliver much of what the Bears offered yet with a nurturing inclusive spirit that would sustain results in a better long term way; combining a healthier lifestyle alongside the tradition fiscal success. Yet given all that the Birds brought to the Bear’s City, the gateways to the high skyscrapers often proved difficult and had closed combination locks that barred the doorways to the boardroom.

Can the Bears and the Birds a new song today?

Now times are have changed. The internet highway, global trade, business from your home, education for all and entrepreneurship have all blossomed and the Birds are flourishing too and sing their beautiful songs and lyrics even more than ever.   Their activities, especially the younger Y and X Gen, and now Millenium Bears and Birds are creating new cultures and different perspectives that are meaningful and inclusive.

Of course some wise Bears and Birds are now getting together and writing tunes of collaboration with cords of perfection to sooth a noisy chaotic world. We need more to do so and share magical conversations. These species from all generations want to bring a new harmonic to the service repertoire of business but still some older more traditional Bears don’t understand these songs.  When they try to sing along, their deep voices threaten the very nature of the Bird song. The Bears often get stuck with their macho ‘pow-wow’ power groups and warrior sports games.

The Bears and the Birds seem at odds with each other yet there is also an intimate attraction between them; Bears and Birds love each other, and have done since the beginning of time.  When the attraction flourishes, they form families to parent new generations of Birds and Bears. Indeed, they naturally complement each other.

Can the Bears really let the Birds into The City in ways that truly integrate the needs of both? Can the Birds persuade the Bears to get together and co-create a new domain that integrates business and life, economic revival and social cohesion?

Is it “business, boom or bust”? Will bear-growl or bird-song win? Only time would tell. The end of the story is still being written …

The book “Who’s In Charge?” is due to be launched by the end of this year by authors Dr Pauline Crawford & Dr Jim Omps. It’s a story that unfolds as 3 Bears and 3 Birds come together on a mission to save the world. In this stor1-156 (2)y, YOU will find YOU and can discover who you are and how your relationship to others is key to value creation for all.

Magical conversations emerge when you use this blueprint… and the possibility of collaborative success paves the way to a better future.

Changing the RULES OF THE GAME…


Pauline Crawford leads the conversation at London Conference July 8th 2016

The field upon which the game of life – in all of its incarnations – is played out has been much maligned for some years now. Much is debated by diverse groups that we need to level or change the playing field. To allow us to move forward on this often heated debate concerning the rise of women now pursuing careers to senior roles and/or running their own businesses, please note that the playing field of business is constantly evolving and impacting lifestyles in commercial, social and domestic arenas. Please note also that the current playing field of business is usually adequate enough for the game but maybe not entirely welcoming to all players. Often we don’t notice the change and the debate focuses on the surface requirements and not the rules of the game. It would be wise now to look below the surface and engage all players to understand that the rules of the game have been found badly in need of revision and updating.

To that end we suggest that the rules of the game cited above should be amended. For starters, let us suggest that whatever the current norm is for the rules occurring at this moment in time, it must reasonably be preceded by a minimum of three additional rules. For example:

Rule 1 – Anybody who wants to play the game and is qualified to do so will be granted the opportunity to play regardless of any other factors including – but not necessarily limited to – ethnicity, national origin, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, generation and/or gender.

Rule 2 – When on the field, each player will participate with the full approval, cooperation and support of all others on the field i.e. the organization and/or individual they represent as well as other team members, associates, family members and customers.

Rule 3 – Any differences of opinion, challenges, disagreements, questions and disputes will be resolved and/or otherwise settled by referring to Rule 1.

It should be clear to every person participating in commerce – be it in such areas as business, law, education, public or private service – regardless of which side of the gender fence you find yourself on – that these three simple amendments to the RULES OF THE GAME are a good beginning. There are doubtless many additional amendments and additional rules that come to mind, but at least this is a start.

Note – when men and women co-create the rules today, it is important to value gender dynamics and the essential differences not just between men and women, but between women and between men, in alignment with the market shifts and new working patterns we see due to technology, globalization and the empowerment of women at work.

When regarding a full range of professional, social and domestic life as factors for success, the game calls on all players to contribute the co-creation of any new rules. In today’s world, a shift to a gender-balanced perspective is a key component of success. It is imperative in today’s chaotic world, that men and women invite each other to co-create the rules of the game not merely for themselves but for generations to come.

Authors – Dr James Omps and Dr Pauline Crawford

1-156 (2)Co-creators of a new blueprint, Gender Dynamics©, and upcoming book “Who’s in Charge?” these two experienced international educators herald a new era of conversation. “The time has come to sit around the table, co-create and design a new conversation, a magical conversation, for real-time, real-world needs” they suggest.  Essential to the success of such a conversation about new rules is the understanding that when men and women of many different gender-dynamics styles and diverse backgrounds, get together and value each person’s contribution without judgement (Rule 1, 2 and 3) they are the best mix for productive and sustainable results.



By Dr Pauline Crawford International Speaker and Facilitator


The Time Is Now …

The much discussed and fabled playing field that so many of my gender seem so committed to changing, is the one that we all walk out onto as we prepare to challenge the men of the world to another round of “He Said … She Said!” There is one word that I would like to define before we start to choose up sides, appoint referees and crouch down into that menacing stance as we prepare to go head-to-head. That word is procrastinate. According to the highly vaunted Oxford Unabridged, it is as follows: pro·cras·ti·nate (prō-krăs′tə-nāt′, prə-) –  v.intr. To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.  v.tr. To postpone or delay needlessly.

Okay, let’s get down to business. Wait a second … that’s the game we play that is so badly in need of changing, right? I think we can agree that, while the list of male-female inequities is not be growing at an alarming rate at this minute, nothing much has been done to reduce it over the past few years. We know, for example, that the pay gap issue remains, the opportunities continue to narrow for women as they move up the corporate ladder, and that life and work are uncomfortable playmates when women choose to have a family and work outside of the home. In that regard it’s interesting to note that in the US many companies do not offer employer-sponsored maternity plans while Nordic countries both dads and mums are given paid time off around the birth of their child. Such policies are there to help women succeed but they vary widely across the world if they are offered at all. It feels very piecemeal as it applies to core issues.

Religious and cultural pressures often defuse the female’s ability to be more independent. Everybody does something so that they can say, “We did something.” Large corporations hire token numbers of female applicants, governments, true to their heritage, establish “reasonable” quotas then throw money at the problem, while the companies, businesses and individuals that are left provide a few of the right sound-bites after which they will procrastinate in the hope that, by just leaving it alone, the problem it will go away. I mean … remember the advice your mum gave you when you found your first pimple … “If you pick it, it may become a boil … just leave it alone and it will go away.”

The Un-Level Playing FieldSo why, given good evidence to support changing the playing field by changing the rules of the game, do so many traditional corporations choose to follow the same path they have always followed? Why, when virtually everything around you has changed so fundamentally over the last 200+ years do they choose to cling so tenaciously to rules and policies and a paradigm that no longer works? Simple! The corporate world is run by men who lack common sense and the energy to re-engage life and change. The education system that led them there is unchanged and un-level when it comes to boys and girls. Yet girls are now in the lead both in numbers and qualifications in so many subject areas.  Maybe men have lost the entrepreneurial spirit that created ‘business’ in the first place 200 years ago.  Many have got caught up in ‘doing things right’ (i.e. to the rules of yesterday) and not paid attention to ‘doing the right things’ (i.e. acknowledging women are making the same or even greater contribution to current profitable markets as men do).


Common sense must rule the changes and an intelligent mutually beneficial blueprint put into action. Procrastination can no longer be tolerated. The time to rethink and rewrite the rules it TODAY … not tomorrow!



PHOTO CRAWFORD-OMPSCOMING TO THE UK FROM JUNE 14TH – 13TH JULY  AUTHORS PAULINE CRAWFORD AND JAMES OMPS WILL BE SHARING THEIR BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS AND PREVIEW OF THEIR BOOK ‘WHO’S IN CHARGE?’  Their approach is invite you to share the conversation by stepping onto a new blueprint that encompasses men and women of all shapes ans sizes, personality types and ages. It is a blueprint core to business and life and addresses all diversity issues that current challenge organisations today.

For details of their tour schedule during that time, available in Brighton and London, please email paulinecrawford.pc@gmail.com or what’s app +60132352225


Join us for an opportunity to explore the dynamics of the playing field and how you can engage in the evolution revolution of a mutually beneficial future.



By Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator


Same-Old, Same-Old …

Okay … so you’ve been in a boardroom or two and you’re struck by how similar they are one to another. There is the imposing table that dominates the room with a dozen or so comfortable looking chairs surrounding it … whatever its shape. You also notice that the most comfortable looking of those chairs is located at one end of the table of the other. Now that we have a mental picture of the playing field that so many seem obsessed with changing, let me refer to my previous blog and reiterate the point that I made therein … the playing field is not the issue. More to the point, the goal must be – and the sooner the better – to consider, assess and change policy, procedure and dogma as warranted … in short … to change the rules of the game!

Small businesswoman

What or who determines how one must play the corporate game? Is it a policy manual gathering dust on an office shelf somewhere? If so, who compiled, composed, created, authored, inscribed, transcribed, engraved, penned, carved in stone, scripted, entered, and/or recorded that document? More than that, how are existing laws, rules, guidelines, dogmata, and accepted courses of action amended, edited, corrected, revised, modified, and/or rewritten? How does a qualified candidate/employee make it to that coveted prize … the top rung of the ladder of success? Is it truly policy or are things more controlled by a vote or two from what is – generally speaking, of course – a predominately male group of voters? What are the rules of the game that determines just who gets to pull his or her chair up to that majestic table and be one of those who decide the direction of the organization … the strategies and the big picture? Whether or not it’s a boardroom or an office that sits on the top floor with the great view, we need to know that this part of building is not built upon a glass floor.

Men and women around the table making the future grow in innovative ways

It is imperative that we work to change the rules of the game. In order to initiate the process, we can no longer buy into those old arguments that continue to crop up every time one of us has the temerity to broach the subject of changing the rules? Those “same-old, same-old” conversations have been designed to drain our resolve in challenging the status quo. “Why fix what clearly is not broken,” is an expression that has absolutely no traction given the mountain of evidence to the contrary.  The system that was implemented more than 200 years ago IS broken, and it is far beyond ‘fixing’ at this point in time. It must – and it will – be changed and replaced. This journey to our future is about MEN and WOMEN succeeding and thriving together. That degree of change mandates a new blueprint, a “We are in this together blueprint,” where the old last is thrown away rather than using it to repair a worn out shoe or to cobble a new one that simply duplicates it.  A shoe that fits exactly as the old one did is simply a reiteration of that ‘same-old, same-old’ argument that we’ve been hearing for decades if not centuries. And just when should we anticipate the needed change be implemented? Well … in my opinion … The Time Is Now!


COMING TO THE UK FROM JUNE 14TH TO JULY 13TH AUTHORS PAULINE CRAWFORD AND JAMES OMPS ARE SHARING THEIR BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS AND PREVIEW OF THEIR BOOK ‘WHO’S IN CHARGE?’  Their approach is invite you to share the conversation by stepping onto a new blueprint that encompasses men and women of all shapes ans sizes, personality types and ages. It is a blueprint core to business and life and addresses all diversity issues that current challenge organisations today.

For details of their tour schedule during that time, available in Brighton and London, please email paulinecrawford.pc@gmail.com or what’s app +60132352225



By Dr Pauline Crawford International Speaker and Facilitator


Are we misled by a lack of common sense?

As I watch the morning news on television, what I see is a world falling further into chaos with each passing day.  It causes me to reflect on the basic nature of men and women and the hope that something intrinsic and infinitely perfect will produce future generations of happy well-adjusted males and females who are truly counterparts. Still, my experience has been that men and women grow more contentious and antagonistic every day.

Today’s technology and the increasing exposure to global commerce can be very enabling. This digital equity – for lack of a better term – makes it possible for virtually everybody to access the global marketplace, regardless of ethnicity, culture or gender type. One would think that this, in and of itself, changes the playing field. Interestingly – and in my opinion – it does. One can actually see that the playing field has been changing all along. It’s kind of like when we were all kids … you could play your games in the house, in the garden, in the street or on a local playing field. The playing fields of our memories and those that exist today have changed right along with us.

Now let me ask you a question: are we all the same? In obvious ways, no we are not all the same. In other ways, however, we are. One of the key components we are apparently born with – and studies bear me out on this – is our innate desire to achieve.  Animals do not necessarily have this particular desire. Animals eat, sleep, hunt, procreate and die. We, on the other hand, have an inborn instinct to achieve, and when that desire goes unfulfilled, frustration and depression set in. This, in turn, can lead the male ego to engender anger, dissatisfaction and violence. These are all consequences of male depression. The sad reality is, if the male ego is blunted, females will, all too often, bear the brunt of the situation cheating10by being subjugated and disallowed the opportunity to explore their potential beyond the domestic setting to which they are consigned.

In our current and supposedly liberated and connected, world where globalization and social media often brings us news faster than we can cope with it, there are, in my considered opinion, too many women stuck in places and thrust into situations where men simply fail to value the resource that women are. Such situations will and do occur at home, in relationships, in a team environment and at work. The impact is always negative and always inhibitive.

Okay, so let’s say that we can accept the fact that the playing field – any playing field – is adequate for the larger purposes of our discourse on commerce and the myriad inequities and inequalities exposed therein. Let’s also agree not to pursue the argument that we need a level playing field or a better playing field or a new playing field. Consensus here is key to moving on to the more important issues. What – I’m sure some of you are thinking – is more important than a level playing field? How about … changing the rules of the game?




Join us for an opportunity to explore the dynamics of the playing field and how you can engage in the evolution revolution of a mutually beneficial future.


COMING TO THE UK FROM JUNE 14TH TO JULY 13TH AUTHORS PAULINE CRAWFORD AND JAMES OMPS ARE SHARING THEIR BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS AND PREVIEW OF THEIR BOOK ‘WHO’S IN CHARGE?’  Their approach is invite you to share the conversation by stepping onto a new blueprint that encompasses men and women of all shapes ans sizes, personality types and ages. It is a blueprint core to business and life and addresses all diversity issues that current challenge organisations today.

For details of their tour schedule during that time, available in Brighton and London, please email paulinecrawford.pc@gmail.com or what’s app +60132352225

The DNA of Gender Dynamics© Part 6 . Learning to Engage One Another.

By Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator

hand_shake_m_1Ask any audience the question “ARE MEN AND WOMEN THE SAME?” and you will always get the same answer. NO! In every biological kingdom across the world – be it human or animal – the male and female of each species are designed to be different genders and to come together to create new life. No argument there. We laugh at the obvious differences as in this picture.  However, not all men behave the same, nor do all women behave the same, and the reasons for this are myriad.

I realized within a short period of time that I needed to take ‘what I knew’ back to the drawing board. I was learning that within each gender there was a range of physical body shapes that had a direct correlation to identifiable gender specific behavioral patterns that linked directly to left-brain, right-brain patterns and configurations. Beyond that, it was my belief that these patterns began to develop from birth. What I was witness to was the emergence of various types of women and men quite literally coming out of hiding, if you will, due to the necessity to survive in a world that struggled to make sense of the chaos of this gender evolution.

article-1364014-00BEEEF8000004B0-177_468x286Society at large continues to try to squeeze everyone into neat little boxes that men of great power and stature created centuries ago, long before women even began daydreaming about the possibility of working alongside men in the business world. Now, however, women, technology and changing needs are forcing us to rethink the playground we all live and work in. Nowadays the differences within each gender, especially women, are out in the open. Women now clamber to hold their place without truly understanding the biases that exist between women and women, and men and men, let alone between men and women. Each, in their own way, struggle to make sense of the influence required by those in charge.  New leaders are emerging; men and women alike who recognize that the players, as well as the ground rules need to change as the marketplace and life itself changes. The playground has both boy and girls in it. Why, then, do we choose to keep approximately half of our available human capital from participating in the growth and development process to become leaders. Why do we arbitrarily include and exclude at random?

boys_and_girlsLook in the playground, you see the girls play together, often in circles with their heads together. You see the girly girls sitting pretty and the tom-boy girls climb trees and playing football, ‘all girl’ and yet tough in their own way.  You see the boys hustle and tussle, playing running games, football and the like. You see that the more reserved, quiet and perhaps gentle boy plays football, but does not easily take to the more physically challenging parts of sport such as risking bodily injury and hitting opponents harder. Yet both are ‘all boy’ as they deal with their individual DNA and spirit.

As the girls grow and mature, they may well have the opportunity to become leaders like Chancellor Angela Merkel or Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, very different types of women.  Boys may well have the opportunity to become the next President Bill Clinton or world leader Nelson Mandela, again very different types of men. Imagine them each these different types of boys and girls in the playground, and let me know your views?

Men and women around the table making the future grow in innovative ways
Men and women around the table making the future grow in innovative ways

As I began to recognize these variations of leading men and women in the boardroom, as leaders in government, as entrepreneurs hiring the next generation and in society at large, I observed changes afoot that lead us to new ways of working, using mixed gender teams and feminine leadership styles, where maybe the focus becomes people rather than profit, customer rather than cost savings. The playing field starts to change to a more collaborative end game where men and women share the playground with a dynamic harmony and results that suit all.  Such things are not out of reach.

The DNA of Gender Dynamics Part 5. Men and Women … Reaching a Critical Understanding

By: Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator

If we accept that men and women are different, in terms of an overall gender culture, how do we start to understand the intrinsic differences within each gender? More than that, how do we measure the impact that these differences are having today as women alter, and in some instances all but abandon their historically designated roles as mother, wife and homemaker?  Are changes coming due primarily due to generational variations, cultural pressures or sexual overlays? Is it because of religion or ethnicity? Interestingly, all of those things would, in my opinion, potentially lead to explosive and undesirable outcomes.

In my experience, in most parts of the world, men and women want to be successful, but for different reasons. It is critical to raise the awareness surrounding gender differences not just in nature, behavior, talents and skills, but with regard to desires and visions for each gender. Ask women what they mean by success and more often than not they will site personal values first – e.g. family, health and peace – rather than personal wealth and recognition.

Taking a look at the shifts occurring throughout the business world – men and women confronting the obvious biases held by each – I looked back on my own journey to help establish a point of reference.  I started by tracing the core DNA of Gender Dynamics© through observations I had made and noted regarding the variables that come into play when men and women interact. I realized that there were men who exhibited very masculine characteristics (I began referring to them as MM), and there were men who freely exhibited characteristics that would normally be regarded as feminine (I classified this group as FM). There were women, obviously, who displayed highly feminine traits (I denoted these women as FF) and there were other women who displayed some traits that appeared more masculine in nature (and I characterized them as MF). Here at last I found my true nature.  My tom-boy essence came to rest as a grown up mature woman.  The overlay that I have created can help us understand such diverse factors as generation shifts, cultural divergence, religious codes, sexual distinctions and preferences as well as the rapid changes occurring in the global community where men and women have got in a tangled mis-understanding and dis-regard. It must be noted, at this point, that my codification of the above traits are in no way indicative of one’s sexual orientation.

20235294-diversity-group-of-teenage-boys-and-girls-isolated-on-white-backgroundIn summary, I can confidently say my own research shows there are some core similarities among all men, and likewise among all women, stemming from our biological essence, and across whatever age, culture, sexual preference we are or where in this world we are brought up. To elucidate: men are the hunter/gatherers, think in boxes, one at a time… and part of their biological function is to impregnate women. Women are the center of the family are biologically geared to nurture and care for their family and surroundings. Whatever choices men and women make to expand their life in the creation of their wealth, the woman, if she chooses, will always bear the baby and take on the major family care role. It’s in our hormones and even when women are more masculine minded MF, as I am, and we strive for a career without regret, the emotional maternal core will raise it’s gentle head.  Some men may take the home-father role but they are still not nearly a majority influence.  Even Y Generation couples who are more evenly sharing their lives in employment, income and social activities, still leave more of the caring duties to the woman.  It’s natural, it’s nature. It now lines up against a natural urge for women to be in business, to be independent and successful as much as any man and still have a man in her life who she can partner on life’s journey.  We want it all!  I believe that the world needs to recognize and applaud core gender differences and the influence these have on our lives especially when women go forth into a men’s world or both genders champion ‘gender equality’ boy-girl-signswithout regard for our biological make-up.

What biology cannot be held accountable for is all the evolved bias and quite myriad stressful differences and blind-spots that exist and have existed between men and women for centuries. I’m talking about the differences that are at the epicenter of the ongoing debate raging between genders. The record clearly shows that men and women struggle with innate bias, imposed stereotypes, invoking human rights issues … disputes nearly as old as time itself. One of my objectives has been to provide a lens through which to examine and evaluate the domestic and professional shifts and conflicts between men and women in any situation. I have been able to do this and, as changes continue to occur and disrupt the ebb and flow of society, I continue to refine it. I will reveal the map in my next blog.

The DNA of Gender Dynamics© Part 4. Merging life and business … the “and/and” female mantra

By: Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator

Women have entered business in increasing numbers and blend business & life. Will men accept women as a bonus to business and recognize the mutual talents they bring together? Understanding each other is key!
Like many women, I loved the logic of business and yet needed to blend business & life. I challenged men to accept women as a bonus to business and recognize the mutual talents they bring together. I knew that understanding in a gender dynamic manner was essential.

As I developed the business side of my emergent personality, I grew despondent about my personal relationship with my husband.  I discovered that, after years of having a relatively negative self-image, I had finally come to love my angular body and saw it come into alignment with my natural, angular, logical mind-set. I came to the realization that I was what, who and how I was for a reason.  I was no more nor was I any less than any other woman I perceived as sexier or curvier than me. The strange paradox was, however, that those same kinds of women would continue to try and persuade me to be more like them … more feminine, as they were fond of saying. Nonetheless, in my own unique reality, I was every bit as feminine as they were.I remembered my own story, in those first years as I got into business. I recognized that I loved the logic of business as much as I enjoyed my domestic life. I drove like a man, read maps like a man, and as I moved confidently into my 40’s I was transitioning into a no-nonsense independent, action oriented woman.  And yet I still had a soft underbelly that cried over unnecessarily critical feedback. I maintained an understated femininity on the inside that sought love from a soul-mate and desired the support and respect of the female tribe of which I was a fiercely proud member.

My identity crisis as a woman started slowly gained resolution as I continue to learn more and more about the subject over the years. Because I am now in a position to reveal what I have learned over the years, I am inclined to share my truth with you because it has led me to a rich life filled with emotional expression rooted in professional authenticity and a reputation as a woman of substance in business and in life. If you too have ever felt a lack of identity or felt your self-image to be different to that of your gender peers, then stay with me a little longer.

Seated left with my mother, brothers and sister - I always felt like the 'rebel divorcee' striding out alone in my 50's for what I believed in - whether it was love, independence or affirmation, I searched for true meaning.
Seated left with my mother, brothers and sister – I always felt like the ‘rebel divorcee’ striding out alone in my 50’s for what I believed in – whether it was love, independence or affirmation, I searched for true meaning.

I spent many years forcing myself to diet while continuously trying on clothes that should have made me feel more feminine, frilly and sexy. And yet when I emerged from the dressing room I felt improperly dressed and more often than not, dishonest. I struggled between knowing “I liked myself as a person” and “not liking who I was as a woman”. I was never comfortable as a girly-girl although I admired that quality in my sister and my girlfriends. Even though a tom-boy, I loved clothes and colours. I loved being female and never wanted to be a boy.  I was at last able to identify and articulate the ‘and and’ multi-faceted nature of being a female but happily with a masculine ‘either or’ ‘yes/no’ logical mind set. This was a mindset and physicality combination geared to business of the day yet allowing me the right to retain my value as a woman.

My “ah-ha” moment came about quite naturally, almost by accident, as often things do. I now recognize the Law of Unintended Consequences and my somewhat accidental discovery has enabled me to identify the DNA of Gender Dynamics© for you – for women and men under all circumstances and all diverse factors and all condition including age, culture, sexuality, ethnicity and/or disability. What I have discovery has allowed me to communicate clearly with men and women alike, and has help both parties better understand their Gender Dynamics© types, shapes and genetically imposed dispositions. It helps each and every one of us create a natural blueprint for relationships, professional performance, personal interaction and overall success.  I now am privileged to share, with men and women alike, in all levels of business and enterprise, how they can understand each other, relate to each other, communicate with one another as well as live, breathe and work better with each other … if they so choose.

Performing for NIEW at The Ministry of Women, Malaysia, working with men and women on 'Gender Intelligence Leadership
Performing for NIEW at The Ministry of Women, Malaysia, working with men and women on ‘Gender Intelligent Leadership” I found my passion is to engage men and women in understanding each other.

The DNA of Gender Dynamics© Part 2 – Finding My Place in the New DNA Helix

By: Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator

Aged 21 setting out on my first career in Tourism, and enjoying the style of the 70's I joined a young expanding business full of men and women.
Aged 21 setting out on my first career in Tourism, and enjoying the style of the 70’s I joined a young expanding business full of men and women.

Let me provide a little personal perspective with regard to the forgoing first 40+ years of my life. I was a very fashion conscious female when it came to my own style. I was lucky to be a teenager in the 1960’s because a more causal and funky fashion sense came to the fore.  I created my own wardrobe for the reason that, as a young girl, I had learned the art and science of dressmaking. I could conceptualize an outfit simply by looking at a piece of fabric before I had ever sewn a stitch. I learned, among other things, that I was highly visually oriented.  I saw ideas as connected shapes. I could read maps and drove my car – according to my female friends – like a man. I could connect diverse pieces in my mind and create designs both on paper and verbally. I loved geometry and art and what I knew of Leonardo Da Vinci made him my role model. Yet, I was dissatisfied with my journey as a woman.

From the beginning – at least when I was in charge of deciding how I would dress – I always dressed to suit the occasion and my emotional make-up of the day. Sometimes I got it right but almost as often I didn’t. In those early years, getting it wrong made me feel somewhat frumpish and more than a little stupid even when I knew I was neither!

I learned much about myself during my formative years, not the smallest lesson of which was … dressing to look  feminine mother rather than as the woman I believed myself to be was very, very difficult. I wasn’t suited to soft fabrics that clung to me or frills that created a more sensuous and gentle profile.  I felt better in trousers (thanks goodness for jeans). I loved to wear pant suits, and bell-bottoms and many items trendy including mini-skirts. I especially loved the square shouldered jackets of the 80’s and structured garments that hung straight and simple. I liked bold colours and ‘chunky’ jewelry and seldom, if ever, ventured into the frilly; elaborate or tight fitting clothes with low cut necklines. As a business woman in the 90’s, I felt that fashion had finally caught up with ME rather than vice versa.

With the advent of large shoulder pads in women’s jackets and tops, I was told that I looked tough and somewhat intimidating although that was not who I was on the inside.  I was just being me. I presented seminars and programs to largely male corporate audiences and felt very much at home. Conversely, when I was at home with my husband and children, I felt estranged from my business driven persona.

As I gained credibility in the work environment, my physicality boosted my confidence when I realized the juxtaposition at work with men in the corporate world. I enjoyed the intellectual sparring, presenting my ideas to inspire business people to develop and improve themselves as I had done.  I felt the inner satisfaction of being able to stand mPauline Dom Photosy ground but was keenly aware that I was still very much in the developmental stage myself.

Today I continue to spend the greater part of my time humanizing and advancing my work in Gender Dynamics© and Gender-Intelligent Leadership©. It is my firm belief that the results that I have been able to codify is the legacy that I will one day leave to my family, to my friends and the world at large.

The DNA of Gender Dynamics© Part 3 – Shapes, Sizes & Other Interesting Stuff!

By: Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator

Conference for Executive Women. 21st November 2007 BT Centre, LONDON
Conference for Executive Women.
21st November 2007

As an Image Consultant in the 1990s, I first studied the various shapes and sizes as they related to the characteristics of the women coming to me for advice.  During this period of my life, I rapidly realized there was a range of female body types and that particular body types appeared to connect directly to certain personality traits and emotional inclinations. Simply stated, certain elements and/or functions seemed to be innately driven by a woman’s particular physicality. In other words, the REAL ME can be revealed in one’s own mirror. Short aside: definition of epiphany:  a moment in which you suddenly see or understand something in a new or very clear way.

My epiphany occurred when I realized the deep meaning of what is stated above. It opened my eyes and mind to something that had haunted me for more than half my life, and now it was set out right in front of me. I knew that my somewhat masculine mind-set was natural for me. I realized too that it did not … that it could not … overwrite or override my being a woman … my femaleness.  My body was not the curvaceous one I may have wanted at some point in my life, but that was alright because I really came to like one I had.  It explained to me my reluctance to accept the words like ‘feminine’ or ‘pretty’ or ‘sexy’ as adjectives into my personal dictionary. Going into my 40’s, I could accept the description of myself as ‘attractive’ or even ‘stunning’ but not ‘beautiful’ or ‘gorgeous’. I came to like what I saw in the mirror.  I knew how to dress my body and to see myself as attractive. This breakthrough released erroneous preconceptions and connected me to my realities. It was good to get to know and appreciate the woman I was.  I was a female through and through.

From this point on I began to observe everything around me on a daily basis. I even observed that men also showed a range of physicality types that ranged from very angular through straight to somewhat softer. Men are not curvy like women, but the nature of softer lines sends a gentle, quasi-feminine message.  This physicality range also appeared to align with what I saw in women, i.e. the more angular, straighter bone structure hosted a more masculine mode of thinking and behaving.  I structured my thoughts into a simple mind-map designating MEN by a box, and WO-MEN by a circular shape. This mind-map was the initial incarnation of what would eventually become the basis for Gender Dynamics©. I was able to create a visual format, a codified embodiment that enabled me to articulate that which I could see in front of me as a lens through which I observed men and women in all situations.

By 2007, in addressing many audiences of business women and men,  I recognized at this time that I was watching business and life merging as women transition from home into the workplace in greater numbers. My Gender Dynamics©  map also gave me a lens through which to see the changing nature of work and home environments, and of society at large. I learned too, as we moved into the new millennium, that a new wave was rolling across the landscape, changing everything in its path. The centuries old male designed and dominated corporate economy was being retooled and reshaped by revolutionary new forces – technology which was driving global interconnectivity and the mounting feminine influence being fueled by greater numbers of women entering the workplace! We now had women emerging not only as corporate leaders, but as entrepreneurial free thinkers creating new enterprises and entirely new ways of running and leading a business entity.