By: Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator
As I developed the business side of my emergent personality, I grew despondent about my personal relationship with my husband. I discovered that, after years of having a relatively negative self-image, I had finally come to love my angular body and saw it come into alignment with my natural, angular, logical mind-set. I came to the realization that I was what, who and how I was for a reason. I was no more nor was I any less than any other woman I perceived as sexier or curvier than me. The strange paradox was, however, that those same kinds of women would continue to try and persuade me to be more like them … more feminine, as they were fond of saying. Nonetheless, in my own unique reality, I was every bit as feminine as they were.I remembered my own story, in those first years as I got into business. I recognized that I loved the logic of business as much as I enjoyed my domestic life. I drove like a man, read maps like a man, and as I moved confidently into my 40’s I was transitioning into a no-nonsense independent, action oriented woman. And yet I still had a soft underbelly that cried over unnecessarily critical feedback. I maintained an understated femininity on the inside that sought love from a soul-mate and desired the support and respect of the female tribe of which I was a fiercely proud member.
My identity crisis as a woman started slowly gained resolution as I continue to learn more and more about the subject over the years. Because I am now in a position to reveal what I have learned over the years, I am inclined to share my truth with you because it has led me to a rich life filled with emotional expression rooted in professional authenticity and a reputation as a woman of substance in business and in life. If you too have ever felt a lack of identity or felt your self-image to be different to that of your gender peers, then stay with me a little longer.
I spent many years forcing myself to diet while continuously trying on clothes that should have made me feel more feminine, frilly and sexy. And yet when I emerged from the dressing room I felt improperly dressed and more often than not, dishonest. I struggled between knowing “I liked myself as a person” and “not liking who I was as a woman”. I was never comfortable as a girly-girl although I admired that quality in my sister and my girlfriends. Even though a tom-boy, I loved clothes and colours. I loved being female and never wanted to be a boy. I was at last able to identify and articulate the ‘and and’ multi-faceted nature of being a female but happily with a masculine ‘either or’ ‘yes/no’ logical mind set. This was a mindset and physicality combination geared to business of the day yet allowing me the right to retain my value as a woman.
My “ah-ha” moment came about quite naturally, almost by accident, as often things do. I now recognize the Law of Unintended Consequences and my somewhat accidental discovery has enabled me to identify the DNA of Gender Dynamics© for you – for women and men under all circumstances and all diverse factors and all condition including age, culture, sexuality, ethnicity and/or disability. What I have discovery has allowed me to communicate clearly with men and women alike, and has help both parties better understand their Gender Dynamics© types, shapes and genetically imposed dispositions. It helps each and every one of us create a natural blueprint for relationships, professional performance, personal interaction and overall success. I now am privileged to share, with men and women alike, in all levels of business and enterprise, how they can understand each other, relate to each other, communicate with one another as well as live, breathe and work better with each other … if they so choose.