Tag: gender

WHY ARE WE AFRAID TO LOVE?

On By paulinecrawfordpcIn Changing the Rules of the GameLeave a comment

Observing the world today, I wonder why it’s so difficult still for love to permeate the boardroom?  “Can Love and Business combine easily? Why is FEAR so often the underlying energy of profit and the accumulation of wealth in traditional male dominated environments?” I ask myself.

I have been warned off promoting the subject of ‘love as an energy force at work’ yet I know in my heart and mind combined, that the energy of pure loving intentions, as the inner game of life, is the only thing that will transform both business and life success together.  I have been told to be rational, not emotional, leave the tears and emotions outside the boardroom door.  Why can I not influence with real world emotions that matter?  I believe, men and women alike need to value the essence of love, loving energy and loving actions where they have a soul connection as a source of power rather than fear when engaging with another human being. Whether in the boardroom or the bedroom, you are a human being in action. Your choice; love or fear? Your emotions come with you to work.  Of course, YOU may not believe loving intentions and positive emotions matter at work or that it is always within your choices. Many don’t believe and continue to live in fear although not admitting it that way.  Now the influence of women rising and at the top of the workplace, technology and digital fluidity and flexibility, disruption, innovation and entrepreneurial mindsets breaking the rules, life has changed for ever. Love is here to stay and face fear front on!

“How can you be a human being and exist without loving feelings?” I pondered as I struggled to understand my own female emotions as I grew up through decades of change… and my anguish in tears would be choked back, so as not to be viewed as weak or a victim, on any issue or emotionally vulnerable scenario I was taking risks in…. especially those close-up moments where I was wadding into the unknown of relationships personal to me.
I have had times of great challenge and cried buckets and needed to do so. I learned the release of emotional responses when love with another person changes. I intend not to be the victim, nor (within my power) do anything to make another person a victim or a vampire. Whether in personal, familial or business relationships, it is possible to navigate the waters and sail through stormy seas to a clear horizon. Emotions revealed though enhancing one’s life can be fabulous and – when negative – can be debilitating and sorrowful. We still must take the risk if no resolution is found together. SoulMateLove is about being alive to the unknown as well as enjoying the fruits of love. Finding peace within ourselves is the goal so that we can endure, create, relate, and thrive against any odds.  It is a personal inner destination and I believe will attract like-minded people to you. Not people who are the same, but who are like-minded, open, values based, mindful and conscious to love.

FGabm group beachHonesty with your own feelings can be a tough call but I assure you it’s essential for true growth and happiness. Men and women of all types, shapes, characteristics and values can share their version of love in the workplace and co-create new rules that underpin a collaborative harmony and vibrant creativity to produce better results.  Why not?  When we allow ourselves to love freely, genuinely, without fear, we won’t just be dreaming big ideas, we can make them happen often without the material world controlling us. Many of the greatest success stories today are from those connected to their love emotions and their ability to risk fear to grow strong in loving intentions. Of the two major emotions LOVE and FEAR, I suggest LOVE – within us and with others – is the only course of intention and action.  I choose LOVE.

#soulmatelove #genderdynamics #magicalconversations

On Pre-sale from next week. Watch this space for more information.

Advertisement

CHANGING THE PLAYING FIELD – Part 3 of 3

On By paulinecrawfordpcIn Changing the Rules of the GameLeave a comment

THE NEW BLUEPRINT HAS ARRIVED…

By Dr Pauline Crawford International Speaker and Facilitator

menwhogetit-12

The Time Is Now …

The much discussed and fabled playing field that so many of my gender seem so committed to changing, is the one that we all walk out onto as we prepare to challenge the men of the world to another round of “He Said … She Said!” There is one word that I would like to define before we start to choose up sides, appoint referees and crouch down into that menacing stance as we prepare to go head-to-head. That word is procrastinate. According to the highly vaunted Oxford Unabridged, it is as follows: pro·cras·ti·nate (prō-krăs′tə-nāt′, prə-) –  v.intr. To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.  v.tr. To postpone or delay needlessly.

Okay, let’s get down to business. Wait a second … that’s the game we play that is so badly in need of changing, right? I think we can agree that, while the list of male-female inequities is not be growing at an alarming rate at this minute, nothing much has been done to reduce it over the past few years. We know, for example, that the pay gap issue remains, the opportunities continue to narrow for women as they move up the corporate ladder, and that life and work are uncomfortable playmates when women choose to have a family and work outside of the home. In that regard it’s interesting to note that in the US many companies do not offer employer-sponsored maternity plans while Nordic countries both dads and mums are given paid time off around the birth of their child. Such policies are there to help women succeed but they vary widely across the world if they are offered at all. It feels very piecemeal as it applies to core issues.

Religious and cultural pressures often defuse the female’s ability to be more independent. Everybody does something so that they can say, “We did something.” Large corporations hire token numbers of female applicants, governments, true to their heritage, establish “reasonable” quotas then throw money at the problem, while the companies, businesses and individuals that are left provide a few of the right sound-bites after which they will procrastinate in the hope that, by just leaving it alone, the problem it will go away. I mean … remember the advice your mum gave you when you found your first pimple … “If you pick it, it may become a boil … just leave it alone and it will go away.”

The Un-Level Playing FieldSo why, given good evidence to support changing the playing field by changing the rules of the game, do so many traditional corporations choose to follow the same path they have always followed? Why, when virtually everything around you has changed so fundamentally over the last 200+ years do they choose to cling so tenaciously to rules and policies and a paradigm that no longer works? Simple! The corporate world is run by men who lack common sense and the energy to re-engage life and change. The education system that led them there is unchanged and un-level when it comes to boys and girls. Yet girls are now in the lead both in numbers and qualifications in so many subject areas.  Maybe men have lost the entrepreneurial spirit that created ‘business’ in the first place 200 years ago.  Many have got caught up in ‘doing things right’ (i.e. to the rules of yesterday) and not paid attention to ‘doing the right things’ (i.e. acknowledging women are making the same or even greater contribution to current profitable markets as men do).

article-2254145-024165F50000044D-12_634x432

Common sense must rule the changes and an intelligent mutually beneficial blueprint put into action. Procrastination can no longer be tolerated. The time to rethink and rewrite the rules it TODAY … not tomorrow!

 

 

PHOTO CRAWFORD-OMPSCOMING TO THE UK FROM JUNE 14TH – 13TH JULY  AUTHORS PAULINE CRAWFORD AND JAMES OMPS WILL BE SHARING THEIR BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS AND PREVIEW OF THEIR BOOK ‘WHO’S IN CHARGE?’  Their approach is invite you to share the conversation by stepping onto a new blueprint that encompasses men and women of all shapes ans sizes, personality types and ages. It is a blueprint core to business and life and addresses all diversity issues that current challenge organisations today.

For details of their tour schedule during that time, available in Brighton and London, please email paulinecrawford.pc@gmail.com or what’s app +60132352225

CONFERENCE OPPORTUNITY WITH VOICE AT THE TABLE IN THE UK JULY 8TH LONDON

Join us for an opportunity to explore the dynamics of the playing field and how you can engage in the evolution revolution of a mutually beneficial future.

CHANGING THE PLAYING FIELD – Part 2 of 3

On By paulinecrawfordpcIn Changing the Rules of the GameLeave a comment

CHANGING THE RULES OF THE GAME 

By Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator

gender-pay-gap-women-fall-behind

Same-Old, Same-Old …

Okay … so you’ve been in a boardroom or two and you’re struck by how similar they are one to another. There is the imposing table that dominates the room with a dozen or so comfortable looking chairs surrounding it … whatever its shape. You also notice that the most comfortable looking of those chairs is located at one end of the table of the other. Now that we have a mental picture of the playing field that so many seem obsessed with changing, let me refer to my previous blog and reiterate the point that I made therein … the playing field is not the issue. More to the point, the goal must be – and the sooner the better – to consider, assess and change policy, procedure and dogma as warranted … in short … to change the rules of the game!

Small businesswoman

What or who determines how one must play the corporate game? Is it a policy manual gathering dust on an office shelf somewhere? If so, who compiled, composed, created, authored, inscribed, transcribed, engraved, penned, carved in stone, scripted, entered, and/or recorded that document? More than that, how are existing laws, rules, guidelines, dogmata, and accepted courses of action amended, edited, corrected, revised, modified, and/or rewritten? How does a qualified candidate/employee make it to that coveted prize … the top rung of the ladder of success? Is it truly policy or are things more controlled by a vote or two from what is – generally speaking, of course – a predominately male group of voters? What are the rules of the game that determines just who gets to pull his or her chair up to that majestic table and be one of those who decide the direction of the organization … the strategies and the big picture? Whether or not it’s a boardroom or an office that sits on the top floor with the great view, we need to know that this part of building is not built upon a glass floor.

http%3A%2F%2Fi.huffpost.com%2Fgen%2F2023872%2Fthumbs%2Fo-WOMEN-BOARDROOM-facebook
Men and women around the table making the future grow in innovative ways

It is imperative that we work to change the rules of the game. In order to initiate the process, we can no longer buy into those old arguments that continue to crop up every time one of us has the temerity to broach the subject of changing the rules? Those “same-old, same-old” conversations have been designed to drain our resolve in challenging the status quo. “Why fix what clearly is not broken,” is an expression that has absolutely no traction given the mountain of evidence to the contrary.  The system that was implemented more than 200 years ago IS broken, and it is far beyond ‘fixing’ at this point in time. It must – and it will – be changed and replaced. This journey to our future is about MEN and WOMEN succeeding and thriving together. That degree of change mandates a new blueprint, a “We are in this together blueprint,” where the old last is thrown away rather than using it to repair a worn out shoe or to cobble a new one that simply duplicates it.  A shoe that fits exactly as the old one did is simply a reiteration of that ‘same-old, same-old’ argument that we’ve been hearing for decades if not centuries. And just when should we anticipate the needed change be implemented? Well … in my opinion … The Time Is Now!

 

COMING TO THE UK FROM JUNE 14TH TO JULY 13TH AUTHORS PAULINE CRAWFORD AND JAMES OMPS ARE SHARING THEIR BLUEPRINT FOR SUCCESS AND PREVIEW OF THEIR BOOK ‘WHO’S IN CHARGE?’  Their approach is invite you to share the conversation by stepping onto a new blueprint that encompasses men and women of all shapes ans sizes, personality types and ages. It is a blueprint core to business and life and addresses all diversity issues that current challenge organisations today.

For details of their tour schedule during that time, available in Brighton and London, please email paulinecrawford.pc@gmail.com or what’s app +60132352225

The DNA of Gender Dynamics Part 5. Men and Women … Reaching a Critical Understanding

On By paulinecrawfordpcIn Gender Dynamics DNA The StoryLeave a comment

By: Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator


drama-queen
If we accept that men and women are different, in terms of an overall gender culture, how do we start to understand the intrinsic differences within each gender? More than that, how do we measure the impact that these differences are having today as women alter, and in some instances all but abandon their historically designated roles as mother, wife and homemaker?  Are changes coming due primarily due to generational variations, cultural pressures or sexual overlays? Is it because of religion or ethnicity? Interestingly, all of those things would, in my opinion, potentially lead to explosive and undesirable outcomes.

In my experience, in most parts of the world, men and women want to be successful, but for different reasons. It is critical to raise the awareness surrounding gender differences not just in nature, behavior, talents and skills, but with regard to desires and visions for each gender. Ask women what they mean by success and more often than not they will site personal values first – e.g. family, health and peace – rather than personal wealth and recognition.

Taking a look at the shifts occurring throughout the business world – men and women confronting the obvious biases held by each – I looked back on my own journey to help establish a point of reference.  I started by tracing the core DNA of Gender Dynamics© through observations I had made and noted regarding the variables that come into play when men and women interact. I realized that there were men who exhibited very masculine characteristics (I began referring to them as MM), and there were men who freely exhibited characteristics that would normally be regarded as feminine (I classified this group as FM). There were women, obviously, who displayed highly feminine traits (I denoted these women as FF) and there were other women who displayed some traits that appeared more masculine in nature (and I characterized them as MF). Here at last I found my true nature.  My tom-boy essence came to rest as a grown up mature woman.  The overlay that I have created can help us understand such diverse factors as generation shifts, cultural divergence, religious codes, sexual distinctions and preferences as well as the rapid changes occurring in the global community where men and women have got in a tangled mis-understanding and dis-regard. It must be noted, at this point, that my codification of the above traits are in no way indicative of one’s sexual orientation.

20235294-diversity-group-of-teenage-boys-and-girls-isolated-on-white-backgroundIn summary, I can confidently say my own research shows there are some core similarities among all men, and likewise among all women, stemming from our biological essence, and across whatever age, culture, sexual preference we are or where in this world we are brought up. To elucidate: men are the hunter/gatherers, think in boxes, one at a time… and part of their biological function is to impregnate women. Women are the center of the family are biologically geared to nurture and care for their family and surroundings. Whatever choices men and women make to expand their life in the creation of their wealth, the woman, if she chooses, will always bear the baby and take on the major family care role. It’s in our hormones and even when women are more masculine minded MF, as I am, and we strive for a career without regret, the emotional maternal core will raise it’s gentle head.  Some men may take the home-father role but they are still not nearly a majority influence.  Even Y Generation couples who are more evenly sharing their lives in employment, income and social activities, still leave more of the caring duties to the woman.  It’s natural, it’s nature. It now lines up against a natural urge for women to be in business, to be independent and successful as much as any man and still have a man in her life who she can partner on life’s journey.  We want it all!  I believe that the world needs to recognize and applaud core gender differences and the influence these have on our lives especially when women go forth into a men’s world or both genders champion ‘gender equality’ boy-girl-signswithout regard for our biological make-up.

What biology cannot be held accountable for is all the evolved bias and quite myriad stressful differences and blind-spots that exist and have existed between men and women for centuries. I’m talking about the differences that are at the epicenter of the ongoing debate raging between genders. The record clearly shows that men and women struggle with innate bias, imposed stereotypes, invoking human rights issues … disputes nearly as old as time itself. One of my objectives has been to provide a lens through which to examine and evaluate the domestic and professional shifts and conflicts between men and women in any situation. I have been able to do this and, as changes continue to occur and disrupt the ebb and flow of society, I continue to refine it. I will reveal the map in my next blog.

The DNA of Gender Dynamics© Part 1 – A Journey of Discovery

On By paulinecrawfordpcIn Gender Dynamics DNA The StoryLeave a comment

By: Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator

20140621_122848Here I am today in the summer of 2015, aged 66, looking back to help you understand my story – a journey of discovery – about who we are as different types of women and men and how much more we can each do to understand each other.

When I was in my late thirties I became aware of something that had been growing in the periphery of my consciousness for some time. I had been gaining an awareness of something that was so powerful and far-reaching that I would spend the next 20+ years researching, defining and cataloguing my results.

During the late 1980’s; I was a devoted mother and an efficient wife as well as a successful business woman. As I continued in those roles, I grew to become a self-confident, authentic woman … a mature self-assured female who knew unequivocally who and what she was. As a very young girl, however, it was a far different story.

In my early years  although I liked playing dress-up, I was not overly keen to be the frilly little princess, and do those girly things many of my girlfriends did. That’s not to say that I never did such things, only that there were other things I enjoyed equally and was naturally good at such as climbing trees and riding bikes and taking part in the kinds things that my brothers liked to do. As grew into my teenage years, I struggled to gain the assurance of being a ‘young lady’.

I remember daydreaming of being a young sailor on one of the romantic tall ships of earlier centuries … climbing up the rigging to furl the sails or to take them in during an approaching storm. In the jargon of the day, I would have been considered very much a “tom-boy.”

The maturing process was, admittedly, a little confusing for a while as I tried to work through exactly who I was and what I might be like as an adult. The one thing I knew intuitively, however, was that I was not cut out to be a femme fatale … that just wasn’t me!

Such meandering thoughts of ‘wondering why’ would reoccur on occasion as I continued my life’s journey and as my knowledge of myself continued to grow and expand. The one question I struggled over time was, “Are we born with the characteristics that give shape and form to the little boys or the little girls we all have grown from, and do the essentials change radically over time?”

Let me tell you what I know today and let me state for the record that I know these things because I have learned them by the careful application of scientific methodology and much reflection and observation during my research. For this process, I have been the Experimental Group and my findings have been validate by filtering them through the results generated by the Control Group which consisted of observing and hundreds if not thousands of people, men and women who have been family, friends and clients.

One of the first principles of life is that of observation. Remember when your mum or dad told you to “Look both ways before crossing the street” … and that’s only the tip of the iceberg, as they boys_and_girlssay. I know that I was born with my boyish physicality and a more left-brained mind-set. I know because my passions were always driving intuitively throughout my childhood and early development. I always got on talking with boys quite easily as friends whereas my girlfriends saw every boy as a prospective boyfriend. Don’t misunderstand. I was and am as female as my sister and my girlfriends. I developed my share of infatuations along the way, but I knew that I was seeing inter-gender interaction differently even then. Putting it simply, I was looking at boys and girls and their expectations through a different lens … the lens of purposeful observation.

It would please me no end to say that whatever gender based issues we may be dealing with at this point in time, they are largely inconsequential because men and women communicate clearly with one another and each enjoys a functional understanding of what motivates the opposite sex. As I continue down the particular road of discovery I began to travel a few decades ago,  I am both unwilling and unable to dismiss the compelling and growing body of hard evidence that says “That is just not the case.”