No Judgment, no anger, no pressure for action – principles for a magical conversation?

Change is a constant and as Mark Manson in The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck says “uncertainty is the root of all growth and opportunity”. What we do know with certainty is that the workplace, be it corporate or enterprise, entrepreneur or academic, management or worker bee, is changing and therein lies out opportunity to create a future unlike the past blending life and work, society and family, giving back and making profit.

11849231_379372528927960_1427513343_nFor me, careful consideration needs to be given to the conversations (and awareness within every word shared) as to what that future will evolve into…within four years half of the workforce will be a lot younger than me (according to latest research the Global Workforce will be Millennials), and I believe it is not about just letting the young take over. I don’t believe either that the world would be better if only women ran it, I deeply know that everyone counts and that we need to value and understand the mix… men, women, young, old, every skin-tone, creed and sexual orientation, every diverse factor of who we are as human beings, needs embracing. Not so that we can win every argument or be a walk over. Indeed, I dream of a world without arguments – lively debates yes, interesting dialogues, knowledge input but not without quests to learn relevance, valuing our differences to weave that tapestry of ‘the good life’ we’d all like.

Magical conversations – run by new principles – no judgement, no anger, no pressure to action, a sacred space, the desired round-table environment, time sensitive, topic focused, remembered learning for the right reasons, a place to freely contribute and create value for all. I have been called naive in my life, ‘Mollie Sunshine’, too positive… hey I don’t apologize for any8482996_f496 of those reviews. In 10 years, my grandchildren will be teenagers on the verge of …. running their own business, contemplating a trip to Mars, taking up further learning (and not at college) or maybe something I cannot even imagine.

Let’s use our imagination, more powerful than knowledge, to be here right now in the moment, life is precious. Do you agree?

pauline@pauline-crawford-omps.com

More information on what I believe in, my vision, my passion and purpose.

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The DNA of Gender Dynamics Part 5. Men and Women … Reaching a Critical Understanding

By: Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator


drama-queen
If we accept that men and women are different, in terms of an overall gender culture, how do we start to understand the intrinsic differences within each gender? More than that, how do we measure the impact that these differences are having today as women alter, and in some instances all but abandon their historically designated roles as mother, wife and homemaker?  Are changes coming due primarily due to generational variations, cultural pressures or sexual overlays? Is it because of religion or ethnicity? Interestingly, all of those things would, in my opinion, potentially lead to explosive and undesirable outcomes.

In my experience, in most parts of the world, men and women want to be successful, but for different reasons. It is critical to raise the awareness surrounding gender differences not just in nature, behavior, talents and skills, but with regard to desires and visions for each gender. Ask women what they mean by success and more often than not they will site personal values first – e.g. family, health and peace – rather than personal wealth and recognition.

Taking a look at the shifts occurring throughout the business world – men and women confronting the obvious biases held by each – I looked back on my own journey to help establish a point of reference.  I started by tracing the core DNA of Gender Dynamics© through observations I had made and noted regarding the variables that come into play when men and women interact. I realized that there were men who exhibited very masculine characteristics (I began referring to them as MM), and there were men who freely exhibited characteristics that would normally be regarded as feminine (I classified this group as FM). There were women, obviously, who displayed highly feminine traits (I denoted these women as FF) and there were other women who displayed some traits that appeared more masculine in nature (and I characterized them as MF). Here at last I found my true nature.  My tom-boy essence came to rest as a grown up mature woman.  The overlay that I have created can help us understand such diverse factors as generation shifts, cultural divergence, religious codes, sexual distinctions and preferences as well as the rapid changes occurring in the global community where men and women have got in a tangled mis-understanding and dis-regard. It must be noted, at this point, that my codification of the above traits are in no way indicative of one’s sexual orientation.

20235294-diversity-group-of-teenage-boys-and-girls-isolated-on-white-backgroundIn summary, I can confidently say my own research shows there are some core similarities among all men, and likewise among all women, stemming from our biological essence, and across whatever age, culture, sexual preference we are or where in this world we are brought up. To elucidate: men are the hunter/gatherers, think in boxes, one at a time… and part of their biological function is to impregnate women. Women are the center of the family are biologically geared to nurture and care for their family and surroundings. Whatever choices men and women make to expand their life in the creation of their wealth, the woman, if she chooses, will always bear the baby and take on the major family care role. It’s in our hormones and even when women are more masculine minded MF, as I am, and we strive for a career without regret, the emotional maternal core will raise it’s gentle head.  Some men may take the home-father role but they are still not nearly a majority influence.  Even Y Generation couples who are more evenly sharing their lives in employment, income and social activities, still leave more of the caring duties to the woman.  It’s natural, it’s nature. It now lines up against a natural urge for women to be in business, to be independent and successful as much as any man and still have a man in her life who she can partner on life’s journey.  We want it all!  I believe that the world needs to recognize and applaud core gender differences and the influence these have on our lives especially when women go forth into a men’s world or both genders champion ‘gender equality’ boy-girl-signswithout regard for our biological make-up.

What biology cannot be held accountable for is all the evolved bias and quite myriad stressful differences and blind-spots that exist and have existed between men and women for centuries. I’m talking about the differences that are at the epicenter of the ongoing debate raging between genders. The record clearly shows that men and women struggle with innate bias, imposed stereotypes, invoking human rights issues … disputes nearly as old as time itself. One of my objectives has been to provide a lens through which to examine and evaluate the domestic and professional shifts and conflicts between men and women in any situation. I have been able to do this and, as changes continue to occur and disrupt the ebb and flow of society, I continue to refine it. I will reveal the map in my next blog.

The DNA of Gender Dynamics© Part 4. Merging life and business … the “and/and” female mantra

By: Dr Pauline Crawford, International Speaker & Facilitator

Women have entered business in increasing numbers and blend business & life. Will men accept women as a bonus to business and recognize the mutual talents they bring together? Understanding each other is key!
Like many women, I loved the logic of business and yet needed to blend business & life. I challenged men to accept women as a bonus to business and recognize the mutual talents they bring together. I knew that understanding in a gender dynamic manner was essential.

As I developed the business side of my emergent personality, I grew despondent about my personal relationship with my husband.  I discovered that, after years of having a relatively negative self-image, I had finally come to love my angular body and saw it come into alignment with my natural, angular, logical mind-set. I came to the realization that I was what, who and how I was for a reason.  I was no more nor was I any less than any other woman I perceived as sexier or curvier than me. The strange paradox was, however, that those same kinds of women would continue to try and persuade me to be more like them … more feminine, as they were fond of saying. Nonetheless, in my own unique reality, I was every bit as feminine as they were.I remembered my own story, in those first years as I got into business. I recognized that I loved the logic of business as much as I enjoyed my domestic life. I drove like a man, read maps like a man, and as I moved confidently into my 40’s I was transitioning into a no-nonsense independent, action oriented woman.  And yet I still had a soft underbelly that cried over unnecessarily critical feedback. I maintained an understated femininity on the inside that sought love from a soul-mate and desired the support and respect of the female tribe of which I was a fiercely proud member.

My identity crisis as a woman started slowly gained resolution as I continue to learn more and more about the subject over the years. Because I am now in a position to reveal what I have learned over the years, I am inclined to share my truth with you because it has led me to a rich life filled with emotional expression rooted in professional authenticity and a reputation as a woman of substance in business and in life. If you too have ever felt a lack of identity or felt your self-image to be different to that of your gender peers, then stay with me a little longer.

Seated left with my mother, brothers and sister - I always felt like the 'rebel divorcee' striding out alone in my 50's for what I believed in - whether it was love, independence or affirmation, I searched for true meaning.
Seated left with my mother, brothers and sister – I always felt like the ‘rebel divorcee’ striding out alone in my 50’s for what I believed in – whether it was love, independence or affirmation, I searched for true meaning.

I spent many years forcing myself to diet while continuously trying on clothes that should have made me feel more feminine, frilly and sexy. And yet when I emerged from the dressing room I felt improperly dressed and more often than not, dishonest. I struggled between knowing “I liked myself as a person” and “not liking who I was as a woman”. I was never comfortable as a girly-girl although I admired that quality in my sister and my girlfriends. Even though a tom-boy, I loved clothes and colours. I loved being female and never wanted to be a boy.  I was at last able to identify and articulate the ‘and and’ multi-faceted nature of being a female but happily with a masculine ‘either or’ ‘yes/no’ logical mind set. This was a mindset and physicality combination geared to business of the day yet allowing me the right to retain my value as a woman.

My “ah-ha” moment came about quite naturally, almost by accident, as often things do. I now recognize the Law of Unintended Consequences and my somewhat accidental discovery has enabled me to identify the DNA of Gender Dynamics© for you – for women and men under all circumstances and all diverse factors and all condition including age, culture, sexuality, ethnicity and/or disability. What I have discovery has allowed me to communicate clearly with men and women alike, and has help both parties better understand their Gender Dynamics© types, shapes and genetically imposed dispositions. It helps each and every one of us create a natural blueprint for relationships, professional performance, personal interaction and overall success.  I now am privileged to share, with men and women alike, in all levels of business and enterprise, how they can understand each other, relate to each other, communicate with one another as well as live, breathe and work better with each other … if they so choose.

Performing for NIEW at The Ministry of Women, Malaysia, working with men and women on 'Gender Intelligence Leadership
Performing for NIEW at The Ministry of Women, Malaysia, working with men and women on ‘Gender Intelligent Leadership” I found my passion is to engage men and women in understanding each other.